Magic Mike still
Magic Mike | Steven Soderbergh + Warner Bros.

I’ll admit it – I love naked men. I have a Post-It on the rear view mirror of my car that says “hot shirtless male” which I plucked off the board at the yoga studio where I practice. The Post-It was part of a wish board, encouraging us to take something we wished for or needed. Most of them said stuff like “peace” or “gratitude” – those I have. What I don’t have is a hot shirtless male in my car/house/life, so … plucked!

Women are nowhere near as visual as men are when it comes to getting turned on, but we most certainly do have a deep appreciation for a fine male form. I actually saw “Magic Mike” twice this weekend, thanks to a power failure (I live in Virginia, which has the shakiest power grid in the known universe) that ate the last reel at Friday night’s show. Which meant I had to sit through Channing Tatum and the rest of his merry band of male strippers doing their best to rile up a club full of women (on screen) and a theater full of women (at the movie) TWICE. Oh, dear, what a trial.

Oh. And mission freakin’ accomplished, fellas. Well done.

Now, here’s the Sex Tips for Boys part, for the straight dudes out there – do not fear “Mike”, embrace him. He will teach you much. Here are my recommendations for straight dudes looking to surf the “Mike” wave:

  • If you’re single, hit a Thursday, Friday, or Saturday evening show with two of your male buddies. Don’t go with just one friend, you’ll be mistaken for a gay couple. Not a bad thing, but not a good one for your purpose. Go with two buddies, you’re a crew. Don’t cower at the back or sides of the theater, sit dead center. Be comfortable. This movie is a celebration of male-ness, and you are male. Dress in your best casual look, be as open and confident as you possibly can. You will be in the most target-rich environment of your life. The rest is up to you, but I recommend taking a page from either Mike’s book (goofy, funny, open) or The Kid’s (“help me” clueless youth). Do this, and you can get *so* damn lucky.
  • If you’re in a relationship, go see the movie with your girl. Again, bask in the celebration of male-ness. Know that the guy who wins out in this movie is a “good guy” like you, not a jerk. Take your girl home, put on some good body-tunes, break open a bottle of wine or mix up cocktails, and have some of the best sex of your life. Trust me.
  • Extra credit points if you work on learning some great dance moves. For use in public at the club, or in private at [wherever works].

It’s that simple. Granted, not *quite* as simple for single guys as for those who have a significant other, but celebrate your male-ness in a surrounding that will put you in touch with your inner stripper (we all have one of those), and put you in the zone for getting some great body-to-body dancing on. Vertical or horizontal version.

I have to admit that Channing Tatum continues to surprise me – he’s being called the next Tom Cruise (as in box-office-boffo guy), but I think that’s an insult to Tatum. He seems to have a sense of humor – you gotta love a guy that can rock both a dub-step snake dance that literally can take a girl’s breath away and a Marilyn Monroe getup, including breathy “Happy Birthday” singing, in the same movie – and a beating human heart. Along with several other very impressive physical attributes.

Have fun, boys.

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Sex Tips for Boys: Magic Mike
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One thought on “Sex Tips for Boys: Magic Mike

  • July 28, 2012 at 9:42 am
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    Awesome, my husband will have to go with me now!! 

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